That Thing Called I

The stage is dark, with a dim little light shining precisely in the middle and sitting under it, an odd little figure. Female, human, barely visible. The sound of fine tuning an old radio is audible, accompanied by a plangent yet melodical sound.

I suppose I'm quite happy. It feels happy to me, what I imagine it to be. I mean, who knows, right? Life is so complex and you're, like ... you're just this tiny little piece within a tiny little piece, isn't it? I love being here, at least I'm here, you know? It's always better to live than not to, I'd say. So much to make of it, isn't there? So incredibly much.

Well, of course I sometimes find it overwhelming. I ... just halt for a moment when that happens, you understand? It's not really like pausing, well ... well yes, it's a little like pausing. I let my mind rest, sort of, try to find out what matters. Find out what matters in silence. I walk steady once I know ... but the knowing? Ha! Right? Well, what else ... ?

I feel a lot, probably a little more than most. Scary, sometimes, I think. I have no words for it. It's ... a little out of the ordinary, maybe ... I mean just possibly exaggerated. I enjoy fall a lot. It's a passionate season in a way, it ... it just makes me want to go outside, see the leaves become something of a glowy orange. It's a kind of ... natural magic maybe, I don't know?

I always repeat things in my head, endlessly, like a tune that never stops bugging you. I mean ... I'm not that tune, of course, you know ... what I mean? I replay, and change. I like the idea of alternatives, even those I know will never happen. And those that could still happen. The future. Glowy, glowy future. I believe it is ... so painfully far away and yet so scarily close by, no?

I sometimes wonder if I don't have too much of it, the thinking and the feeling. I ... well, honestly, it is making little holes in my scull. I'm kidding, obviously, it's a metaphor of course but ... no, seriously, I. I'm sorry, I forgot what I wanted to say, silly me. Right? I love the stars. Don't you? I look at them and think about how, in a way, they contain ... the dreams of mankind. The wishes, the mythologies ...

Well ehhh ... what else can I add? It's foggy sometimes, this life. It can be, I mean no it is, actually, so mindblowing and yet so absolutely frightening, ... heck, it can even be both at the same time! I do not need to tell you, do I? I ... well, to sum up ... I am human, of course”, laughs “but I am sure that you already knew. What else am I? Well ... I just wouldn't know. I mean ... would you?”

And then there was some sort of strange yet peaceful silence.